


dear diary, how can someone be so handsome?

by mlnghao (orphan_account)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 09:19:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13737831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/mlnghao
Summary: seungmin isn't creepy at all, he swears, for simply looking in the direction of his best friend a teensy bit longer than needed.scratch that, he was staring — for hours.





	dear diary, how can someone be so handsome?

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS SO FUCKING CRINGY AND IDK HOW TO WRITE DONT READ THIS I WAS JUST BORED 
> 
> this is what happens when you let your fingers just do the typing instead of actually thinking about what is being typed - please note how messy and rough this all is, i'll probably make an updated version in the future with more feeling put into it.

♪ … [오영](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQ5cpdDeIu8)

 

**tuesday, 12**

dear diary, hwang hyunjin is still confusing my emotions. all i wanted to do was enjoy my day in peace, but no, he had to be there. just, standing there. being himself. why do i find that so difficult to bare with? it's been at least four months now. his eyes, his nose, his lips, his laugh— am i being weird? yeah, that sounds really weird. i hope one day i'll summon up the courage to say hi like a normal human being instead of blabbering out gibberish. i still remember the way he smiled at me, he probably thought i looked weird, he caught me staring. do i sound like a giddy teenage girl right now squealing about their crush? yes, yes i do. rip. i just pray tomorrow i won't have to see that beautiful, fucking divine smile. i'll be a dead man.

**— i think i need help**

**seungmin**

 

Turning the page, he smiled, now filled to the brim with bliss. He found it adorable. Kim Seungmin was an adorable person. He's always seen the signs, Seungmin's too obvious, too easy to read, easier to read than an open book. But that's another reason why he found him utterly adorable. It was now his turn to 'sound like a giddy teenage girl squealing about their crush'. 

 

**wednesday, 13**

dear diary, okay, we're suddenly friends now. jeongin introduced me to him at last! but now what's concerning me now is said boy. jeongin you sly fox, i saw that wink towards hyunjin!!! calm down, seungmin, calm down. you're a big boy now, no need to get jealous over a petty wink.. but it was directed straight!! at!! hyunjin!! gah. does jeongin like him? i think he does. but they could just be really close comfy friends. i hope to be like that with hyunjin some day. wait! i got a plan! tomorrow, i'll buy one of those valentines roses that they're selling for free, it comes with an anonymous card! it's the perfect plan! i'll leave him wondering who sent him the roses and card for at least a day then confess later on! master plan! i'm a genius. call me genius min.

...wait... what if he rejects me? how did i not think of that. shit. fuck. um, my back up plan will be acting like everything's fine and calmly nod my head and accept that we weren't meant to be together after all! perfect. absolutely. perfect. back up plans are always needed, they never fail!

 _**—**  _ **hopefully the plan works out,**

**seungmin**

 

Seungmin was jealous of Jeongin? He giggled at the thought, everything was clicking in place. He caught Seungmin subtly glaring at Jeongin whenever the youngest out of the three made the slightest of skin to skin contact with him. Jealousy. Wow, he never thought of it. More laughter erupted from his throat,  Ah... he felt flattered. He had no idea how anxious Seungmin had felt sending that rose to him. I mean, sure, of course you'd get worried about sending the person you lo- like a rose. Even if it is in anonymous. The card was really sweet too, but just like he had mentioned earlier, Seungmin was way too obvious. What did it say again? Oh yeah,

 

_wanna get ~~drnk~~   ~~drniks~~ drinks one day?_

_i mean, it doesn't have to be drinks but yeah_

_- ~~seungmin~~ anonymous admirer_

_(sorry about the amount of scribbles)_

 

His card stood out among the other he was sent, definitely. Compared to all the expressive, well-structured, eloquent poetry given to him. 

Fat tears stained the page below him. He was crying.

 

**thursday, 14**

dear diary, i think i'm finally satisfied with this card, yes, there's not one but two but three crossed out mistakes but i think it's fine. and it only took me twenty five attempts, my trash can is now full of scrunched up failed valentine cards. i've spent way too much time on this, it's already late into the evening. i'm no different from the trash in the can, if i'm being honest. i feel like i wasted my time on this. maybe i should just throw this one away too. ugh, why's this so fucking difficult. i don't want to send it. but i will anyway, cause why not. i do in fact have a back up plan. yeah, the back up plan! 

hwang hyunjin, you're going to be the death of me. have i already said that?

oh and, apparently i was right, jeongin's just like a little brother to him - nothing romantic. phew. i mean, it's not like i'd be jealous if they ever hooked up. i'd just... congratulate them with a goofy ass smile then walk off, to my room, crawl underneath the covers and cry my eyes out a lil' is all. 

 

**\- how far am i gonna go with this?**

**seungmin**  

 

He had to close the diary before he ended up soaking it with his tears which were now flooding down his face, his eyelids reddening. He had no idea how much pain he was putting Seungmin through, no fucking clue - maybe he wasn't as easy to read as he thought. He couldn't see past the awkward smiles and waves, the stutter in his voice whenever his name was called. He had fun teasing Seungmin, using the sweetest tone possible when talking to him - he didn't want to scare him away.

What did he do to deserve Seungmin's affection?

He read again,  _all i wanted to do was enjoy my day in peace, he had to be there. just, standing there. being himself._   _why do i find that so difficult to bare with?_

 

**friday, 15**

dear diary,

...

...

choo choo! all aboard the unrequited love train! —

 _(No Seungmin! It's not unrequited!)_  

 _—_ me being a dumbass forgot that i'm not the only one who's in love with the guy. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. i could fill every page with this weird but i'm too tired right now, i think i made my point. i didn't notice the amount of crumpled up valentines cards in his pocket, mine's probably mixed in there too. i've never felt like such a dumbass.

 

**\- maybe another day,**

**seungmin**

 

said boy slammed the book shut, bending down to neatly slide it underneath seungmin's bed. he's learned so much today, about seungmin. definitely. and also, he's learned a lot about himself too, a few habits that he himself never picked up on, but seungmin has.. small details and features that he's never noticed, but seungmin has.

and most importantly, that he's an asshole and he should stop playing with seungmin's feelings.


End file.
